_________
                                /           \
                              /    Mystery    \
                             |     Science     |
                             |     Theater     |
                              \     3000      /
                                \___________/
 
                                   Presents
 
             "The Incredible Erotic Adventures of Stiffy Makane"
                                     by
                                  Mark Ryan
 
           To read reams of pertinent propaganda, please press <1>.
           To read the introduction, then play the game, press <2>.
           If you possess finer sensibilities and are offended by graphic
           portrayal of sexual activities, press <3> to quit.